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These Hilarious Quotes From Students Will Have You Rolling


Whether you teach pre-K in Oregon or U.S. history in Massachusetts, one thing is a guarantee: You will hear some absolutely gut-busting quotes from students. Their earnest questions, honest misunderstandings, and accidentally brutal observations can make a wonderful addition to our teaching stories. Recently, our teacher audience responded to this post of funny things students have said with their own experiences, and as you might predict, the comment section was absolute gold.

“An older French teacher at my school ate a small can of tuna every day for lunch.”

“A student asked her why, and she said it was to keep herself young. He replied, ‘It’s not working.’”

—Belinda S.

“I had a little boy in my pre-K class that apparently had been around a lot of colorful language.”

“One day, while working at the table, a sweet little girl asked, ‘Mrs. Moore, what is a ice hole?’ ‘Why do you ask?’ I said. ‘Isaac said I was a ice hole.’ Isaac had a very thick Southern drawl. I knew EXACTLY what he said, but instead I said I wasn’t sure what he meant. For the next ten minutes the children at the table tried to decide what an ‘ice hole’ was. They came to the unanimous decision that an ice hole was when fishermen cut holes in the ice to fish. Isaac’s confused expression almost sent me over the edge.”

—Karen M.

“One of my middle school students was wearing a T-shirt with Grumpy the Dwarf on it.”

“I told her he was my favorite dwarf and she said, ‘Well, that makes sense.’”

—Janice P.

“My favorite thing a high schooler has ever said to me was, ‘I forgot my AirPods today, and I’m going to make it everyone else’s problem.’”

—Carolyn W.

“One of my small groups of first graders was playing a word game.”

“I was prompting them toward the answer ‘tea.’ ‘It’s something your mom might drink in the morning,’ I said. ‘Beer!’ one of them called out earnestly. Oh dear …”

—Ellen O.

“I jokingly said I was ‘allergic to everything’ once during a sneezing fit.”

“One of my precious sixth graders asked me, ‘Oh wow, so are you going to die soon? Because there’s a lot of everything just, like, laying around.’”

—Vee M.

“One of my eighth graders asked how old I was (at the time, loooong ago). I replied, ‘I’m 23.’”

“Shocked, she mumbled, ‘I sure hope I’m married by the time I’m 23.’”

—Lisa G.

“I was doing an exercise with my grade 4 students, matching definitions to words.”

“I asked them to find a word on their list that means ‘to have an argument.’ One kid immediately calls out, ‘Marriage!’”

—Robert B.

“While working on letter sounds in my 1st grade class, I asked students to name something that starts with the letter O.”

“A student replies, ‘Ocean.’ Another student proceeds to say, ‘Oooh, you’re not supposed to say that. It’s a bad word.’ I said, ‘No, ocean is not a bad word.’ Then the student says, ‘Oh, I thought she said, ‘Oh, sh—’ Needless to say, I cut him off before he could finish the word. LOL … life of a first grade teacher.”

—Jacqueline H.

“We took the ITBS, or Iowa Test of Basic Skills, each year.”

“Stephanie had her head down on her desk, crying. I asked her what was wrong. She said, ‘Why do I have to take this test? I don’t even know anybody in Iowa!’”

—Pat P.

“One of my first graders asked me where I worked.”

“Another first grader once told me, ‘I don’t got no think brain.’”

—Tricia L.

“My first graders told me I look like a crazy dead clown when I wear makeup.”

—Blair M.

“My mother taught kindergarten.”

“I was observing one day when a little boy hugged her and told her she smelled good. ‘Just like my grandma when she puts powder down her bra!’ She thanked him, but I don’t know how she kept a straight face!”

—Suzan L.

“When I was teaching art in China, I had a kindergarten student say to me, ‘I love the smell of crayons in the morning.’”

—Robert B.

“Middle school: ‘Did you know you can’t step on your own eyebrows?’”

—Cheryl K.

“I had a 6th grader ask me if they paid me to come to school.”

“That same day another 6th grader asked me if I could drive.”

—Jacque H.

“When I was teaching 4th grade, we were learning about our state.”

“I asked if anyone could tell me the capital of Nevada. You guessed it, a student told me ‘N.’”

—Desie B.

“I had second grade child go home and tell her parents that I lived at school because I had two pairs of shoes under my desk.”

“I wore my tennis shoes to school and changed when I got there. The others were another choice to wear.”

—Karen N.

“I had a fifth grade student ask me if it was really boring back before color was invented.”

“The student thought that color didn’t exist before there were color photos and that’s why the old photos were black and white. Another student in the same class asked me how old I was when I was her age.”

—Diane W.

What’s the student quote that you’ll never forget? Let us know in the comments.

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